I’d be a fool not to dream

In these days where flash floods of doubt sweep me off my feet, I keep seeing or hearing the words “don’t give up”.  They’re like small beacons of light, and no matter how murky it gets, they shine out unexpectedly, just when I need them the most.  Imagine fireflies on a dark night where there’s no moon.

Last night somebody was singing a song “do whatever it takes to hold on.  Things will change”.  I didn’t even register the words at first, then they sank in, like a voice calling out from far away.

This is what I think.  If you’ve got dreams that you haven’t been able to realise, you have to deal with the stuff within you that’s got in the way.  There’s no getting around it, no easy way out, no drugs you can take, no anaesthetic, no mantra you can say.  Truth is truth.  You can’t ignore it if you want your life to change for the better.   Mostly that’s about entitlement, it’s about knowing you deserve a life that makes sense to you and is fulfilling and exciting to you.  Knowing you are loveable at a very deep place way beyond your intellect.  Right in your heart and soul.

Big dreams need big entitlement.  I have spectacular dreams, ergo I have a spectacular amount of change to embrace.  Takes time.  The time it’s taking isn’t a sign that I’m an idiot or that it can’t happen for me, it’s a sign of how much I want.

Building a foundation for my good life.  Sticking my middle finger up at all the inner messages that say my life is over, who do I think I am, I live in a fantasy world.  Most of all, they say that I’m a fool to desire, to dream.

No I’m not.  No matter how hard it gets, no matter how real the “evidence” seems to be that the change I long for isn’t happening, I’m not a fool to dream.

I’d be a fool not to.


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