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Who says tomorrow never comes. Here it is. The day of the final of 2010 World Cup Soccer. I’m not thinking about sports, much, though. Pretty preoccupied with action today, dreams and desires. Mind you, I guess that’s what the World Cup has been about.
Joyce Dunn from – yes, you guessed it, Searchwarp – left a comment on an article I wrote “why wish for a loaf of bread when you can wish for the grocery store”. Why indeed. I guess it’s the same as imagining standing at the edge of the ocean with a receptacle, and a measuring thang. What do you imagine? A bucket and a teaspoon? Or a receptacle bigger than an ocean, and an atomic powered hydraulic pump?
There’s no right or wrong about it, it’s just about what you believe you’re entitled to. It’s a bit of a cliché, but there’s something to it. 7 years ago I had a very small bucket and a tiny teaspoon. Go figure.
Or imagine a banquet. Are you at the table as an honored guest amongst other equally honored guests, having a grand time, or are you outside looking in wondering how you get an invitation. Whatever the banquet means to you, of course. Is it winter outside, are you cold and hungry and alone? You get the drift.
Here’s the thing about taking action. Everything within you that believes you shouldn’t be doing whatever you’re doing lights up like the main drag in Las Vegas. Dead if you do, dead if you don’t. That’s why action is so good. You might not have realized that you had those inner messages, those beliefs. So then you couldn’t do anything about them. But they controlled you and your experience of life, oh yes.
Desires and dreams. If you let yourself have them and take action, you meet everything in you that says you’re not allowed to have them. So you get a chance to correct it. Take this Paypal thing. I thought I’d settled the debate “is it okay to ask” until somebody said “sure, I want to help you”. Oh god, then all the nicely constructed rationalizations tumbled to the ground. Now I’ve got to work on “is it okay to say thanks, and to be happy about it, and feel loved”? I’m going to take a chance here and say “yes, it’s okay”.
Because underneath the debate is just a very old fear “you’re going to be punished for this”. It lies like a coiled snake in my belly, poised to strike. It’s got nothing to do with the present, it’s just the shadow of the past. V. controlling, though. V. irritating. Gotta get rid of that fear-snake. Snakes are fascinating to look at but they’re v. dangerous in the belly. Not much fun to play with. Like Harry Potter’s Dementors.
Well, good luck Netherlands and Spain. May the team that has the most fun win.