2010 World Cup Soccer in South Africa

I really like my Bridget Jones take-off idea.  If I do it well enough maybe I’ll get a Colin Firth type man in my life.  And a job with a screwball producer.  Hmm.  Not so sure about that part, but for certain I’d get a film deal and become important woman of substance.

Last night I scrabbled about for a justification.  Why can’t I copy her?  Apart from all the obvious reasons which are too many to list.   Then I saw it.

Aha!  Helen Fielding slyly and patently obviously took her inspiration to satirize – let alone a character’s name – from Jane Austen.  Cleverly, unabashedly, unashamedly.  Got applauded for it, and I’m included in the applauders, I’m one of her biggest fans.  But what if Jane Austen had been alive, though?  Would her book have been labeled a rip-off?

So why can’t I do the same, only I’ll take my inspiration from Helen Fielding?  I know what, I can call my heroine Bridget Jones.

If Fielding’s publishers ever came after me I could plead a pretty good case in court, don’t you think?  Then she and I could jointly write a book about the war between us – and get another film deal.  Bridget Jones vs. Bridget Jones.

I want Mark Darcy!”  “No, he’s mine!  I want him!  Give him back!

It’s a brilliant idea,  Yes!!!  At Last!  My troubles are over, am woman of substance.  Am confident, world famous and important script and novel writer.  Ooooh.  Phone.   Probably it’s Oprah, or Robert de Niro.  Unless it’s Colin Firth of course.

What’s all this got to do with the title of this blog?  Nothing.  I got sidetracked.  I’ll tell you about 2010 World Cup Soccer in South Africa tomorrow.  If I’m still around.  If I haven’t already been hauled away to Hollywood.

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I’m Right and Everybody Else is Wrong

I’m reading Helen Fielding’s The Edge of Reason for the gazillionth time.  I absolutely love Bridget Jones but alas I’m laughing at myself.  Well mind you I don’t smoke, am not overweight or in love with Colin Firth aka Mark Darcy.  In fact don’t have a Mark Darcy in my life – not even a Daniel – or my own flat and I’m not in my 30’s.   Oh.   Blast.   My life is worse than Bridget Jones’.   Better not go down that road.

Apart from that we’re identical, right?     Up one minute, sure I understand the meaning of life, excited about my potential future, sure my dreams can come true.

Down the next.  Doom.  Doooom.

Bloody hell.

Yesterday I took the day off and went by train into the city.  I thought about Bridget Jones and all her self-help books, and then I thought some more.  How about a satire on Change Your Life self-help books.   Trouble is, I’d want to write it just like Bridget Jones.  That wouldn’t do.

The idea’s good, though.  Maybe I can be original with it.   Wish I was Helen Fielding so I could just do it like Bridget Jones.  Much easier than trying to be original.  Probably end up much funnier, also.    Might turn out that I’m not awfully good at satire.

Better not go down that road before I’ve started.  Better stick to the core which is all the change your life instructions, online courses, e-books, articles.

The substance ranges hugely: Meditate!!! Get Organised!!! Figure it all out in your head!!!  Change the way you think!!!  Be Positive (lots of people love that one)!!!!   Dismiss your anger!!!  Give your life to Jesus, let him figure it out!!!!  Think of others before you think of yourself!!!  Do good deeds!!!!  Learn what the 10 or 60 million or only 3 points of successful behavior and thinking are and follow them!!!!  You too can Change Your Life Just As I Have!!!  Use your thoughts to overcome your emotions!!!   The Mind controls everything!!!  Don’t meditate!!!!   Don’t dismiss your anger!!!  Don’t live in your head!!!   Feel, be Real!!!

Oh wait a minute, the last four are mine.

Truth time?  I don’t know any more if what works for me would work for anybody else.   Well that’s what I think today, anyway.  Probably tomorrow I’ll go back to being quite sure that I’m Right and Everybody Else is Wrong.

To quote Bridget Jones,   Hmmmmm.