I’ve just spent the last half hour torturing myself looking at photos of Venice, Siena and Florence. My life is so pedestrian at the moment it’s driving me crazy. Ever since I lived in Siena, a million years ago, I’ve had a lust for Italy that has never gone away. It’s been like a wild animal in hibernation, quietly sleeping somewhere in the recesses of my brain, waiting…
I wanted to go back but never managed to. Too busy ferreting ghosts out of my closet then dealing with them, trying to wade through all the crap to find myself. Then falling into a pit that seemed bottomless, and learning to crawl out. I know I’ve had to do it, and if I’d gone back I wouldn’t have been able to have a stable life, so I don’t regret the work I’ve done in facing myself. I’m very grateful for the help I’ve had and still have.
But I’m so damn sick of survival, and watching other people live adventurous and exciting lives. For heaven’s sake, I’ve ridden a bicycle through East Africa and from New York to Key West. What’s happened to my courage? I know I wasn’t born for a pedestrian life. Today, those gorgeous photos of Venice – outrageously fabulous – woke up my wild animal lust with a start. Oh, hallo! I remember you.
Well, other people have made it through crises and risen above so I must be able to also. That’s a reassuring thought. Need to have a word with God, maybe. God or the Universe. Look, I’m willing to apply myself but whatever else it is that I need to learn, or embrace, just send it my way would you. And yes, yes, I know, I can’t win the lottery unless I buy the ticket. Speaking metaphorically of course.
On which note I’d better do something practical, like my crime novel and paranormal romance. Nobody seems to like my ebook And What About Me? Am I Into Him?so far, which doesn’t mean it won’t succeed at some point, I know that. But maybe I’ll have a better shot with one of these others. So let me get to them. I wish somebody would discover me. I’m sure I’m worth discovering.
Venice, I have not forgotten you…
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- 12 Most Classical Reasons to Visit Venice By Ali Handscomb (12most.com)
- ✈ Gondola Yard (webmink.com)