Every time I see a photo of John Boehner I think of the scene in The Wedding Planner where a bride presents a blotchy, orange face from too long under the tanner. JLo says ‘quarter cup of lemon juice and half a cup of salt and scrub scrub scrub’.
You live most of your life with your eyes screwed shut and you don’t even know it. Then one day you open them and realize that your real is godawful. You close them again; don’t want to look at that picture. Sometimes when you open them again you realize your real is freaking brilliant. Does that make you schizo, or manic depressive or just very alive and aware? Or all three? Life is mercurial for some and that’s a fact.
The Law of Increasing Complexity: the less aware you are the fewer choices you make consciously and the simpler life is at some level. At a consequence level though, it’s chaotic because your repressed stuff controls your behavior as if you were a puppet.
As you become more conscious of your belief systems, emotions, self esteem and entitlement, what drives you and what you need, and bring repressed stuff up into the light, you heal wounds and move into the driver’s seat. You’re not so much of a puppet any more so your life becomes less chaotic. There’s more of you to give to others from a genuine place.
But you also become conscious of emotions and belief systems etc. in everybody else. And you can see when they’re conscious of what they’re feeling and when they aren’t, when their belief system limits them but they don’t see it. So life is more complex for you. Being in a roomful of people can be pretty damn lonely because you can’t talk to anybody about what’s flying around; either nobody else sees it, or if they do they don’t want to talk about it. You’re on your own, kid. Strength of mind is a useful tool here, as is permission to take a hike.
If you choose to stay it can be challenging and you have to guard against the fear that you’re going mad. But it’s the price you pay for becoming more conscious. And it helps to remember that the rewards are pretty amazing. You feel alive in so many different parts of you. If you’re a writer hey, you’ve got more to write about.
And much as everybody says being lonely is the worst thing in the world, it isn’t. Being mostly numb, half dead, passive aggressive, blind and deaf, that’s the worst. Because some part of you knows it and screams at you all the time. You have to work real hard to keep it out of your awareness.
We’re all over-adaptive in some way or another. If you’re aware of it you’ll feel like a ghost in your own town until you find your voice. And when you do you might also find that you don’t like that town at all. You might grab the only horse there is and head on out. Some of the people left behind will be sad to see you go but thrilled for you. Others will blacken your name. If it happens, just keep on riding, don’t look back.
Or you might find that you are the horse. You’re just a kid and you have to head on out alone. Don’t worry, you’ll find others soon enough. They’re gonna love you, kid.
I don’t like missionaries who target the poor or the needy, give them nice stuff like food and shelter and then indoctrinate them. At some level, even if they’re adults, there’s a vulnerable child within. The missionaries exploit the same principle that makes a child loyal to a man or woman who takes them hostage and then rapes them for years. Stockholm Syndrome, it’s called. It has many variations and there’s more than one way to take a child hostage and rape it.
Missionaries don’t respect your right to think for yourself. They respect their right to overpower your mind, though. And they sure believe that God talks to them more than he/she does to you.
To date James Patterson has written 130 books in 38 years and sold 305 million copies in all. He’s been the world’s best-selling author since 2001; way ahead, btw, of JK Rowling. He writes unashamedly to a formula and has an army of ghost writers working for him now, as well as a PR department in his publisher Little, Brown which he rules with an iron fist. He’s having a ball with it all.
His first book, The Thomas Berryman Number, was rejected 31 times before somebody at Little, Brown said ‘yeah, this is a winner’.