You Don’t Have To Be A Genius

If you don’t want to read, and just want to watch the video, click this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twwaVsYbtkI

You know how sometimes you have a moment when something you think you’ve known actually sinks in to a more meaningful place?  Things like ”it doesn’t matter what other people think of you” and “you have the same value as everybody else”.  It’s easy to “know” those things intellectually, you just have to read the words or hear somebody say them and your thinking brain takes it in.

Long ago I had my head around the concept that everybody’s equal and other people’s opinion doesn’t matter.  Funny thing was, the knowing didn’t make any difference to the reality of my life.  I was still afraid of people in real time, still afraid of the world, still massively disempowered, making choices that ended up with me being exploited or hurt.

Well I believe that my thinking brain isn’t nearly as powerful as I used to think it was.  It’s become the God of this century, the New Age God.  I think the power that actually let me change has come from the experience of being loved and respected.  It’s resulted in a different kind of “knowing” that permeates through my mind, body and spirit.

I’ve started to see that my knowledge isn’t just theoretical any more because I don’t have to hide from the world and people any more, I’m happy to just be normal, I don’t imagine nearly as much that people are thinking badly of me.  I don’t have try and read their minds, I can just ask.  I don’t engage with bullies because I recognize them and I know I don’t like them.

More and more I realize I don’t have to fight for my place in the world.  It’s still not perfect, and I doubt it ever will be – what’s perfect anyway? – but my everyday life, from moment to moment is really different from what it was.  No lies, no pretense, no denial.

Those Aha! moments always seems as if they come from out of the blue, but I think they’ve been building for a long time, and they just reach a certain threshold which pushes into the conscious mind in one particular moment.   In a way it’s like the unseen particles of our world.  We don’t notice them until they’ve coagulated into something solid which our senses can pick up.

Well it’s taken me more than ten years of receiving very sane teaching and incredibly consistent,  all-embracing unconditional love and support for the knowledge I’ve understood theoretically since I was 16 to become something I could actually apply.  In a way I’ve gone through the parenting process again, and given myself a chance to grow up in a balanced way.

I had an Aha! moment yesterday when a whole lot of things came together.  It was the understanding in a real way that I don’t have to be a genius, or superwoman, or incredibly talented to be able to enjoy success.  I can just be me.  It’s enough.   I made a video of my Aha! moment.  Always wanted to be in the movies.  Might as well start somewhere.  This is the link:   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twwaVsYbtkI

If you like it please pass it on to your facebook friends – or any friends, actually.

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The Eternal Optimist

There are a million articles about how to become perfect on the internet.  If you don’t know how to make conversation – be confident!  Riiight.   If your life is unsatisfactory, focus on the Law of Attraction and you’ll get it all!   Okaaay.   V. irritating.  How do these people think you got to be screwed up in the first place?   Never mind the cause, just use your mind to change! Grrrr.  I wonder what their lives are really like.  Just looking for justification for being confused, here.

Walking along the beach yesterday, I had fun dreaming about a publisher and a film director or producer reading my blog and contacting me.  The publisher wants me to write The Book on The Anatomy of Disempowerment – because I’m obviously the world expert – and they want a funny kind of Bridget Jones book: bankruptcy, Jack that’s not-his-real-name, becoming a singer and maybe even Bridget Jones herself.  How about that.  Good story, I reckon.  I wonder if Helen Fielding would like to co-author a book?  Sure honey, she’ll jump at the opportunity.

So, never mind that my blog is confused, sometimes I think I know where I’m going, sometimes I know I don’t, then I realize I was wrong.  Sometimes I try to be funny, sometimes it hurts so bad I want to die.  Sometimes I think I understand it all, then I see I know virtually nothing.  Good thing I’m not trying to be a guru.

When in doubt about yourself and what the heck you’re doing with your life, go to the beach and fantasize.  Then come home and make a plan of action and keep to it.

So here’s the plan.  I’m going to start every blog with What I’ve Accomplished the day before.  But that’s what Bridget did; I  don’t want to be a copycat.  I’ll end the blog that way then.  So what if I’m copying her.  It’s my blog.  She won’t mind.  She’s not a real person anyway.  Did you know that?  You didn’t, did you?  You see, I know a few things.

Yesterday: hours spent raging at family – 5 v. good, v. healthy to get it out;  playing piano – 2;  writing thriller script – 0 oops;  singing – 1;  work – 2 not enough;  dreaming about brilliant future -10, excellent, setting stage for reality to play out;  fighting fear that life is going nowhere and won’t ever be able to earn money – 35;  feeling guilty about asking reluctant family member for money – never mind;  conversations with God – plenty;  replies from God – 0.

Hmm.  Not that much action in there.  Probably should have become a meditative nun.  Just couldn’t bear the thought of never being able to wear Armani and have sex.   Oh.  I’ve never worn Armani yet anyway and as for sex, bloody hell.  Still, pigs could fly.  The eternal optimist.