Some time ago, from position of great spiritual awareness and inner poise and conviction of bright future I got an email from Oprah and OWN.
Okay, so a million other people also got one, still it’s something, isn’t it? She sends out mail asking questions, and the question du jour was “what brought about change in your life?” Hah! I’ve got an answer for that one, I thought, it’s tailor made for me. At last, it’s my turn to be noticed by Oprah. Imagine my excitement when I saw she’s also looking to discover somebody. I thought the two were connected.
You see! I shouted to the world and nobody in particular. My landlady’s cat, asleep on top of a cupboard, opened one eye and contemplated me through it.
I felt like a kid in class who had the answer. I know what made me change. The fact that no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t make my dreams come true, couldn’t escape the insanity inside my head. Then I went bankrupt and that forced me to stop and face myself. Now at age 55 I’m finally getting to do the things I always wanted to.
That’s pretty exciting isn’t it? It is to me. So in 1500 words I told the story of my Adventurous Life so far. Yes, yes yes!!! I’m going to be discovered by Oprah. God, the universe and I are all aligned in conspiring to create a brilliant future for me.
Then I noticed that the discovery thing is something different, she’s looking for people to host their own shows. Oh. And you have to have a big personality.
Crash. I’m not woman of substance after all, am just mousy, unfunny, unoriginal wishful thinking loser. I’ll never be good enough to make it into Oprah’s club of Important People who’ve really made it. Oprah would look at me and say “you? I don’t think so.”
I hate the universe and god and my older sister. I haven’t stepped out of history, hate history, hate stepping. Wish the cat would stop staring at me.