My Bright Future and Moment of Glory

Some time ago, from position of great spiritual awareness and inner poise and conviction of bright future I got an email from Oprah and OWN.

Okay, so a million other people also got one, still it’s something, isn’t it?  She sends out mail asking questions, and the question du jour was “what brought about change in your life?”  Hah!  I’ve got an answer for that one, I thought, it’s tailor made for me.  At last, it’s my turn to be noticed by Oprah.  Imagine my excitement when I saw she’s also looking to discover somebody.  I thought the two were connected.

You see!  I shouted to the world and nobody in particular.  My landlady’s cat, asleep on top of a cupboard, opened one eye and contemplated me through it.

I felt like a kid in class who had the answer.  I know what made me change.   The fact that no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t make my dreams come true, couldn’t escape the insanity inside my head.  Then I went bankrupt and that forced me to stop and face myself.  Now at age 55 I’m finally getting to do the things I always wanted to.

That’s pretty exciting isn’t it?  It is to me.  So in 1500 words I told the story of my Adventurous Life so far.  Yes, yes yes!!!   I’m going to be discovered by Oprah.  God, the universe and I are all aligned in conspiring to create a brilliant future for me.

Then I noticed that the discovery thing is something different, she’s looking for people to host their own shows.  Oh.  And you have to have a big personality.


Crash.  I’m not woman of substance after all, am just mousy, unfunny, unoriginal wishful thinking loser.  I’ll never be good enough to make it into Oprah’s club of Important People who’ve really made it.   Oprah would look at me and say “you?  I don’t think so.”

I hate the universe and god and my older sister.  I haven’t stepped out of history, hate history, hate stepping.  Wish the cat would stop staring at me.


4 thoughts on “My Bright Future and Moment of Glory

  1. Okay so firstly I don’t think Oprah would say anything of the sort. Although a show about a mousy, unfunny, unoriginal wishful thinking loser would probably be a riot! You know you are none of these. I’ve had a wee run back through some of your posts to see if you have written anything about your sister – have I missed them? If you would like to share I would love to read more about you and her – no pressure though. And that cat – is that photo for real? Hilarious.

  2. Thanks for this, you made me laugh! Hmmm, maybe it’s time to make the anti-talk show. I haven’t written much about either of my sisters yet. I guess I’ve been processing and not wanting to write until I was clearer about myself in my relationship with them. There’s still a lot of hurt and fear, though. Okay, I’ll write something! Do you have siblings?

    • Yes I do. I have two brothers and a sister. All older. I have had a strained relationship with them all if truth be told – probably closer to my sister although not really that close!! The death of my father last year did bring us all a bit closer, I think. Crikey that would be a whole other focus of writing…

      • Mmm, siblings can be hard. I’ve never been allowed any authority in my family, nobody’s ever been interested in anything I’ve got to say. They love to talk about themselves to me but they don’t want to listen. I only realized it, and how disempowered I was in the family, once I started going to therapy. When I tried to claim my space they accused me of being aggressive! They always judge me without asking about my side of the story. I decided to stop trying, and I walked away. I don’t speak to any of them. People so often talk about family being important. Well, if it’s where you learned you were worthless and things haven’t changed, I think it’s important to leave.

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