A couple of days ago I saw a movie about a child with Asperger’s – a kind of autism. The parents were talking to a doctor, wanting to know how they could make the child be normal in the world, and move on. They actually weren’t that concerned about their child; more about themselves.
The doc wasn’t much impressed. He said “you have to find the world that your child is in, and go and join her there. Let her show you what her world is. Love her, protect her, let her know what it is to feel completely safe. Then very very slowly coax her out. Very Very slowly. You go at her pace, not at yours. You wait for her to tell you she’s ready.” It made sense to me.
On much the same subject, the other night I watched an old re-run of Will and Grace. Grace’s man of the moment broke up with her on the night she thought he was going to ask her to marry him. Big trauma. Off she went to bed to weep and moan. Will, Jack and Karen all gather in the flat to try and pep talk her out of her misery.
She refuses to be cheered. They pile on the pressure in their inimitable ways. Then yank her out of bed, and shove her in the shower, all getting hilariously drenched while they hold her there. Until she loses it. And in great high drama points out that they’re all pretending to be happy but it’s BS, because Will can’t recover from his last relationship, Jack is a sad sack, and Karen a drunk. She on the other hand, is the only one telling the damn truth to herself and letting herself be real.
She gets back into bed and crawls under the covers, muttering leave me alone. Then Will comes to the door and stands there, willing to be real. Says you’re right. Gets into bed with her, curls up. Ditto Jack. Then Karen. Finally they’re all curled up in bed giving each other comfort and just being real. It was gorgeous.
They fall asleep. Come morning, Grace wakes up, looks at her lovely friends who let her be and joined her where she was. She gets out of bed feeling happy and okay with the world. Gave me goose bumps. I love educational TV.
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