Nothing like singing the blues to put you in a good mood. Listening to country music, also. Faith Hill belting it out. As soon as I put the earphones on and that music flooded my senses, the world turned rosy. Better remember that.
The problem is inaction and being stuck in a Hamlet-type debate to be or not to be. I keep getting stalled by the idea that I mustn’t let myself spend any money on singing stuff – because I want to hold onto it for rent and food, in case next month I’m not able to earn enough. Just can’t let myself go into that terrifying black hole again. Ever. Bottom of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.
But stupidity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. The debate should I shouldn’t I spend the money, will I won’t I be okay is like a stuck record, the title of which is Stupidity. So. Today I have to do something different. Today is decision day.
I want to fix my car, but it could bring me quite close to the zero figure. If fixing it could service getting a singing job, hey, I’d do it in a flash, but it won’t, not for a while. I have to find a piano player or get backing tracks, PA system and a laptop. Then I have to find somewhere that will give me a job. It’s winter, it’s hard to get singing jobs in this town, even the experienced musicians battle. So, logically, fixing my car isn’t a good idea.
But but but, it would let me go to sing at a club open mic night, which still isn’t about earning money, but it’s doing it – which will lead to being able to earn, yes? One place, where I sang once before – and was too scared to sing loud enough for anybody to hear me! – they have fabulous musicians, best in town, who go there to jam, and will accompany you. It’s v. daunting and scary, because they’re a snotty flipping bunch and they don’t give a flying *%@! about you, but they’re really good, and where else can you get a band to back you when you’re starting out? It’s what I want to do, although I wish there was an interim step, not quite so scary.
But there’s another option, which doesn’t cost so much, isn’t scary, and will help give me confidence. James Bond suggested home recording. Today I looked at a great website that takes your hand and leads you through it. A mic for the computer, and editing software is all you need to start with. They suggest some software that’s free. So it’s just the cost of a good quality mic.
At least that’s some kind of action, so that’s what I’m doing. Until I earn better or another solution comes my way. Inaction is what’s driving me crazy, it’s why I’ve been singing the blues. Oprah’s got this headline on her OWN site – something to do with let yourself dream big! Well, I don’t have any difficulty with letting myself dream big, I couldn’t stop myself doing it if I wanted to. Ideas crowd my brain all the time. But finding resources to enable those ideas?
That. Is. Bloody. Difficult. For me, anyway. Paris Hilton doesn’t seem to have difficulty with it. Hmmm. So, how about this: I accept the small resource for the small idea, and just go with it in a big way. That should work just as well.
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