Thrilling schmrilling. It took me all day to pluck up courage to call recording studio fellow. And then I ended up doing it by default anyway, so where’s the kudos in that. First I looked up the studio on the web, then read through all the history and the various staff and famous people who’ve recorded there, and by the time I got to the end, I felt as small as an ant. Bloody hell. So I wrote down the number and then thought let me look for Michelle Maxwell instead.
Classic procrastination. Found her agent. Oh. She’s a well known performer, why would she bother with me. What am I going to say to her? Anyway, found a number, wrote it down, and had some tea. Then I tidied up. Finally I forced myself to pick up that damn phone to call the agent. Got very nice woman who didn’t know what the !@*! I was talking about. “This is a recording studio, you know” she said kindly.
Oh, blast, called the recording fellow by mistake. Well, she laughed, I laughed and she Put Me Through. He said why do you want to listen to recordings? I don’t want you to ask me that question. I tripped all over myself trying to explain how I don’t know what to do. I want to sing, the whole world of musicians is alien to me and I just want to see that it’s real. Oh god he’s going to think I’m a total fruitcake. Because I am one.
Dear kind man, he didn’t seem to think I was an idiot. Said firstly that artists don’t usually want anybody watching them. Anyway, he said he’d ask for me. Then he recommended a vocalist who teaches out here. I went to her before. I don’t know why, but I just didn’t click with her. She’s a fantastic singer, v. nice personality, just feels like we’re different animals. Can’t explain it any better than that. It’s all about me, not her.
But Michelle Maxwell – I got her agent, v. nice woman, friendly, understood when I said I want someone to hold my hand, advise me. God, why is this so difficult. Anyway, she said she’d pass my number on, and maybe Ms. Maxwell will call me. You know why I want her? She’s gutsy and ballsy and once I saw her singing with a bunch of absolute amateurs. She was so humble about herself and kind towards them, said such good things about them.
Oh yes, and I emailed fellow about demo cd and backing tracks. Still don’t know what anything costs, but I’ve set the universe in motion. Trying to get through to computer shop to price whatever I need to load singing onto my blog. No success. Yet. At least that’s not scary to do. Okay, well that’s all she wrote. Gotta do script, piana, post this and write blog articles and post. Already done singing, procrastination and work. Not going to earn much this month at all. And mother already finding reasons to not help out next month.
Shan’t panic or worry. Sick of doing that. Sick of feeling foolish also. I’m not foolish for being me and being where I am and for having a dream, and not knowing quite how to make it real. I’m not. I’m probably not alone, either.
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