There are a million articles about how to become perfect on the internet. If you don’t know how to make conversation – be confident! Riiight. If your life is unsatisfactory, focus on the Law of Attraction and you’ll get it all! Okaaay. V. irritating. How do these people think you got to be screwed up in the first place? Never mind the cause, just use your mind to change! Grrrr. I wonder what their lives are really like. Just looking for justification for being confused, here.
Walking along the beach yesterday, I had fun dreaming about a publisher and a film director or producer reading my blog and contacting me. The publisher wants me to write The Book on The Anatomy of Disempowerment – because I’m obviously the world expert – and they want a funny kind of Bridget Jones book: bankruptcy, Jack that’s not-his-real-name, becoming a singer and maybe even Bridget Jones herself. How about that. Good story, I reckon. I wonder if Helen Fielding would like to co-author a book? Sure honey, she’ll jump at the opportunity.
So, never mind that my blog is confused, sometimes I think I know where I’m going, sometimes I know I don’t, then I realize I was wrong. Sometimes I try to be funny, sometimes it hurts so bad I want to die. Sometimes I think I understand it all, then I see I know virtually nothing. Good thing I’m not trying to be a guru.
When in doubt about yourself and what the heck you’re doing with your life, go to the beach and fantasize. Then come home and make a plan of action and keep to it.
So here’s the plan. I’m going to start every blog with What I’ve Accomplished the day before. But that’s what Bridget did; I don’t want to be a copycat. I’ll end the blog that way then. So what if I’m copying her. It’s my blog. She won’t mind. She’s not a real person anyway. Did you know that? You didn’t, did you? You see, I know a few things.
Yesterday: hours spent raging at family – 5 v. good, v. healthy to get it out; playing piano – 2; writing thriller script – 0 oops; singing – 1; work – 2 not enough; dreaming about brilliant future -10, excellent, setting stage for reality to play out; fighting fear that life is going nowhere and won’t ever be able to earn money – 35; feeling guilty about asking reluctant family member for money – never mind; conversations with God – plenty; replies from God – 0.
Hmm. Not that much action in there. Probably should have become a meditative nun. Just couldn’t bear the thought of never being able to wear Armani and have sex. Oh. I’ve never worn Armani yet anyway and as for sex, bloody hell. Still, pigs could fly. The eternal optimist.