The weather has remembered it’s winter. Raining, but not so cold. It’s kind of cosy here.
Somebody wrote “action causes reaction” the other day, and it’s true, but the thing is, you have to be discerning about what your action is – which is what his point was about. Couldn’t I have said this more simply? Probably.
He said if you’re unhappy in your job either look to see if you can find things that make it interesting, but if you can’t, look for a new job. Don’t act out your anger and frustration. Well, that’s how I interpreted what he said. I agree.
But what if your life or the way your mind operates manifests obstacle after obstacle, and every action that you take seems to result in a reaction that takes you further from fulfillment? What do you do? Lobotomy? Take refuge in schizophrenia? Grrrrr…
Woke up this morning irritated and frustrated. Still waiting to get Paypal, money v. low, pressure v. high. May not have sustainable job after all, or it may not pay enough to sustain me. Black clouds gathering. Gloom. Doom. Couldn’t see how anything could pan out, am just living in gumba fantasy-land. Panic hovering, small child inside yelling BUT I HAVEN’T HAD MY LIFE YET. Come to think of it, adult woman also yelling. The noise is deafening.
Oh bugger it said I. I’m going to sing. So I got up, made breakfast and did vocal exercises while I made toast over my hot plate, since my toaster toasted some time ago. Funny thing happened. Small inner child started having fun. Life began to look exceptionally rosy. Imagination kicked in. There’s a celebrity here with a show Supersterre – Afrikaans for Superstars, I guess. It’s a kind of America’s got Talent, but it operates on kindness, fancy that. She’s adorable, big blond hair, heart of gold. All the judges cry and hug contestants who don’t make it.
I decided I’ll by hook or by crook make a recording of any old song, and send it to her and say can you help? Can’t hurt.
Breakfast tasted delicious. Toast and coffee.
Sang some more while I swept the floor. Forgot to sweep as singing was so much fun. Got out the PA system and sang along with Sarah Vaughan.
When skies were dark came Noah’s ark, Amen / When lions roared came Daniel’s Lord, Amen / Lord help those who pray / And on judgment day / if you believe ye shall receive Amen.
Forget about judgment day, I’m not waiting that long.