If you read yesterday’s blog about FIFA’s deal with South Africa, this should amuse you: Sepp Blatter has said that this world cup illustrates the love affair between FIFA and Africa, and that South Africa was chosen to host the games because FIFA trusts and has confidence in Africa.
Oh, that’s so moving, Sepp. It wouldn’t have anything to do with what a sweet deal South Africa gave you, now would it, or the fact that your profits will be up by 50% on this round?
Right, onto not-soccer things. It’s “thank you jesus” day – or else the planets are all aligned perfectly, or maybe I’ve just miraculously stepped right out of history. Take your pick.
Total Bank Triumph! Have been trying to persuade bank to stop looking at me and treating me like the insolvency criminal that I clearly am, and give me ordinary account so I can link up with Paypal and receive money for work I’m doing. How criminal and socially irresponsible of me. My logic being that this will be good for me and bank, much better than continued ostracization and refusal to give me account I need so wouldn’t be able to earn.
First I got – “not possible”. Then I had a tantrum, which produced a fit of sulks. I matched sulk for sulk and got an interview with the bank’s relationship manager. Sat there waiting for her to pitch, and felt another tantrum coming on. Yelled at somebody else – who happened to be the bank manager! – who went to find Relationship Manager.
It’s not my fault, they made me do it.
Relationship manager was very school marmish and disapproving doyenne-type woman. Don’t really know what a doyenne is, but it sounds good. Can’t be done, she said. Can’t have the kind of account I need to link up to Paypal unless I have a signed contract for a job earning at least R5000 a month [subtext because nobody can trust you] and a letter from my insolvency trustee saying all my creditors have been paid out.
Now the problem is I have a job, and some money waiting to be paid to me for work already done, and it will earn me more than R5,000 a month but it’s not a contract type job. And my trustee is away on holiday. Grit my teeth but walk out of bank determined to Find a Way.
Trustee gets back but won’t return my calls – 12 of them in two days. Hmm. Secretaries all hint he ducks and dives. Dark storm clouds gathering again. Manage to be nice, patient and keep GRRRRRR to myself until get v. prissy, bossy PA-type woman who clearly doesn’t approve of insolvents. I let some GRRR out and she promises to get my trustee to call me.
Hallefuckinglujah he does. And says the bank doesn’t need a letter from him. I could have powered a vehicle to drive to Cairo on the energy piling up inside my body.
Then something happened. The planets all realigned or jesus said hey dad, give a girl a break, it’s been 7 years of this kind of crap you know.
Trustee says get the bank to call me. So I call relationship manager and she’s busy. I fax her a letter. Sit impatiently chewing nails, get up, pace around. If she leaves it too long, trustee will be in meeting and will be impossible to catch for next 10 years. Tell self to let go and let god but self doggedly refuses. Control freak that I am I take matters into own hands again and call the bank.
Man answers. I ask for relationship manager. He says she’s busy but can I help you with something?
Excuse me? Did I say somebody say the word help? “well, I think you just might be able to” say I cheerfully. Didn’t want to speak to the Disapproving Doyenne anyway. I tell him what I want. Hope he doesn’t remember that I yelled at him!
“Leave it to me” he says, I’ll get back to you.” Double take – it could be that easy? Fine by me. A couple of hours later, tring tring. “Right, you can have your account, somebody will call you in a day.”
Just like that. No problems with needing work contract, no questions about my earning, no disapproval of my insolvency. Mr. Nice Guy personified. In a bank???? Whoopee. Went in today and the manager was kind of cute, joked with me, said I can’t have credit, but I can have the account I need. Just had a thought. Maybe he’s jesus.
The consultant was an absolute darling, said she fought with head office for me. Was v. weird experience to be treated by bank people with respect and as if was normal person for first time in about 9 years. Even weirder experience to feel human prejudice obstacles melt away. Weirdest of all was to be treated as an equal. Huh. Must be that my brilliant personality has finally emerged from its chrysalis. I’m recognizably a woman of substance.
Came out with an account. In a few days I get the card and can Open. Up. A. Paypal. Account. Feel sure the Relationship Manager wouldn’t have done this for me, if I’d got her on the phone. She wouldn’t have tried to find a way. She wasn’t a solution finder.
So life got her out the way for me, and put me in the path of somebody who could hear me and take me seriously, see me as an equal, and look for a solution. It words in mysterious ways, does life.