Wanting to run away


I want to get on this Egyptian boat and sail down the Nile.

I want to give up and run away.   I’m sick of being brave and persistent and accountable.

Don’t feel like doing any of it today.  Today I want to be a rich kid whose parents have a gorgeous home somewhere in upstate New York or Alaska with great rolling lawns leading down to the water’s edge.  I want a life like I saw in “The Proposal” last night on TV.  I want to be Sandra Bullock in that film.  I want to have that family.

I want to have that happy ending.

My life is too small.  I feel like Alice in Wonderland when she was too big for the house.

I feel sure that somehow I should be able to just walk out the door and keep walking until I reach something more exciting.    I should be able to just step onto that boat.  I don’t want to step out of my history, I want to sail out of it.

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