I’ve been thinking about the concept of moving on, today. When people say you have to force yourself to let go and move on, I always wonder, why? What’s wrong with being where you are? Why can’t you just be here, do what you need to do, until it evolves naturally into another place, another state of mind?
I wonder if it’s because when we’re stuck we have a lot of emotions, and generally we aren’t very good at dealing with them. That makes them very uncomfortable, so it’s natural that we should want to force them away. Many people think we shouldn’t have emotions at all, that they are negative.
I don’t believe it. We have got them, and we don’t generally have anything that’s useless to us. Evolution takes care of that. Usually, the less we use something the smaller it gets until it disappears – this is true of all living organisms on this planet. However, no matter how little we use emotions, how much we repress or try to ignore them, they keep getting stronger and stronger! So perhaps they’re actually very important.
I think they are anyway, especially when it comes to this business of moving on. I think we stay stuck in the past because we need something, which is what our emotions are telling us. If we figure out what that something is and give it to ourselves the emotions dissipate and we naturally move on.
Imagine you have a garden and you go away for a month. When you get back, the person who was going to water for you didn’t keep their promise. Some plants are okay, but others are wilting. Wilting tells you there’s something wrong in their history (the past month) and their current status (they need water NOW). Well, you don’t tell the plants to move on, do you? Of course not, you give them water. Then they move on naturally, they stop wilting.
Plants wilt, we feel. I think when we can’t move on our emotions are telling us we need something. We stay stuck until we figure out what that need is. When we give it to ourselves or get it from someone else, our emotions go away of their own accord, we stop being uncomfortable. Before we know it, we’ve moved on.
And we have no need to come back. Moving on. I think it’s a consequence of identifying what I need and getting it. I don’t think it’s a positive action in and of itself.