Heaven, I’m in heaven


Playing the piano today I didn’t have a care in the world.  Three hours of bliss.  It was so much fun.  Then I had to go to work.  Gag.  Fortunately I don’t have to commute further than about ten steps, to my computer.  Didn’t want to do it today.  Didn’t want to stop playing.  My body – and my mind also – felt like liquid silk again.  Mmmmmmmmm.  I wonder again what it feels like to be an absolute genius at piano.  It must be heaven.

Sigh.

I saw a heartbreaking documentary on a brilliant pianist who had that condition – I can’t remember what it’s called – where the child is very bright but can’t connect.  Screams a lot?  Well, this man had that condition, but had discovered he could play piano and developed into a truly exceptional player.  Until he went to some famous conservatoire; Juliard, perhaps?  They destroyed him with the pressure they put on him.  He couldn’t play any more.  Gave up.  Now he was helping very lesser musicians.  The torture in his face and body was something awful to see.  What the hell was wrong with his damn professors, couldn’t they see what they were doing to him?  I’m still angry about it.  The world has lost a great musician because of those idiots.  And that beautiful man lost the only thing that made his life worthwhile.

I think the whole “career” aspect of any art is very screwed up.  So many people are tortured by how they have to sell or compromise themselves, jump through hoops.  For what?  To please who?  Why are we all competing with each other anyway?

Well that debate will get nowhere very fast, I can see.  I’m just putting off doing the internet work that is not inspiring me at all today.  But just imagine if I can make it happen, if I can bring in some money money money I can eat eat eat and – hey, even get my piano reconditioned, and start buying music to listen to and fix my car and go to concerts and eventually get a grand piano.  I’m also starting to want a teacher; there are some things I just don’t know how to do.  Like with Bach’s 2-part inventions.  I can hear what’s wrong with the way I’m playing, but I don’t know how to fix it.

I guess it goes on my list.  WANTED: very very very wise, patient, nurturing, fun-loving, humorous, serious, exceptional piano teacher.

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