I’m still neglecting my blog. The days pass so quickly, I get so wrapped up in problem solving and managing my time as best I can. I’m not doing very well yet, some things are still not getting enough attention. Singing, script. Novel and bio I’m not even doing at all.
But my first website is up and running, da da da daaaaaaaaa. Now I have the possibility of earning something, and can start with more websites. I feel very triumphant and childish about this, it was so hard to understand, and I wanted to give up a thousand times. But I didn’t and look, now the worst is over. Now I understand what affiliate marketing is all about and how to access information on SEO and what to pay attention to and what to toss out. It’s not rocket science, actually.
Starting something when you’ve got no frame of reference for it is hard. It’s like trying to read when you don’t know the alphabet and haven’t heard the language spoken, haven’t seen what words look like. You just got a blank space in your brain there. We need somebody to show us.
I’ve really learned how much I panic when I don’t know something because I don’t know where to look for the answer. But I’ve also learned that the voice in me that tells me “if you can’t see where the answer is it doesn’t exist” isn’t the truth.
It’s just not true that we have to be able to see where solution comes from. We absolutely don’t. We don’t create solution, we access it. It’s there all the time. Our fear stops us from seeing it. Literally. Get this: about a year ago I had such a vivid example of it: I usually put the tea container on a particular shelf. One day I looked in that spot and it wasn’t there. I instantly presumed the worst – that it was gone. I clearly remember looking on the other shelves and not seeing it. Got in a panic (I know, small dumb thing to get in a panic about). Stomach tightened up, soda water in my brain.
Then I settled myself down, said it has to be somewhere. I went out the room to do something, and came back – and there the tea was on another shelf. I remembered looking in that spot and positively seen an empty space where the tea container actually was.
The power of panic and mistaken belief.
So this whole foray into the world of domains, hosting, website building and affiliate marketing has taught me so much more. I feel so much better equipped, not just to deal with the world of the internet (and I know how to promote my blog now) – but also life in general. Every single time in the past month or so I’ve come to a dead end because I didn’t understand anything, as soon as I’ve said “well, I need an answer, I need inspiration to look where the answer lies” I’ve found the answer.
You might say “yeah, but it’s actually easy, because there’s so much free info on the web”. There is, but if you don’t understand the language, it’s not that easy.
So. I enter into a new phase of my life. A bit more knowledgeable, a bit better at managing my time, a lot more focused. A whole lot more conscious of how powerful a factor fear has always been in my life. A whole lot better equipped at dealing with it so it doesn’t paralyse me.
This is a good thing, I’d say.
Oh blog, I’ve missed you!