Burnt toast and a moral dilemma

Long day’s journey into night.   A horrible acrid smell of burnt toast lingers in the air.  I was engrossed in something computer-related and forgot I’d put bread in the toaster.  Didn’t even smell anything but I glanced towards the kitchen – oh crap! The toast was on fire and had been for a while, flames shooting up.  Why is that air fresheners don’t work when you really need them to?

I feel disgusted.  Internet business can be a shark feeding frenzy.  And this is where I’ve chosen to try and make some money?  The whole principle of affiliate marketing is that you sell something you’ve never seen.   And the competition is ruthless.  What am I doing?  I’m not going to try and con somebody.  How can I write my blog here and be a con artist somewhere else?  Can’t.

I want to help people learn how to discern what’s bullshit and what isn’t, I want to say don’t believe the crap, it’s meaningless, it exploits your vulnerability, it’s vomitous.   I cried buckets today, please don’t make me have to do this.  But I have to generate an income. And I can’t see any other way.

So, I have to find a way to do it without conning anybody.  Right, I set up my minisite for some product and I say Listen guys, I haven’t tried this product, I don’t have a clue whether it’s what it says it is, or whether it’s in the least bit useful.  Seems pretty good, it’s selling very well, that’s all I can tell you.

Yeah right.  That’s going to make me lots of affiliate marketing money.  Probably earn me a lawsuit from whoever’s product I’m promoting.

I want to add value to the world – real value, not just money value – I want to help people who are floundering in the dark, I’m definitely not going to trip them up and make things worse.  I want to add love.  I want to help people who are looking for a solution find one that actually works for them.

That’s what I want.  That’s what makes sense to me.  So that’s what I’m going to do.  There must be a way of doing that and earning, without exploiting anybody.

It’s funny, my Dad was such an honest man, all the way through.  When I was a kid it worried me that I wasn’t like him.  I didn’t care about doing wrong things, I just didn’t want to get caught.  It bothered me forever.  And now I see I’ve ended up being like him after all.  I bet he’s breathing a sigh of relief somewhere.

So am I.


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