The power of longing


The most amazing thing has happened.  I’m learning about backlinks and internet marketing, keywords etc.  I typed “Stepping out of History” into Google’s search and there are 112,000,000 results.

Of which a reference to one of my blogs is the FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How did that happen?  I’ve started putting together a strategy to get my blog to people’s attention, but haven’t started doing it yet.  Just expressed my intention.  Ha ha ha.

I saw it yesterday.  I walked to the shop in the early evening via the beach.  The tide was out, the ocean calm as a lake, the air cool, no wind.  I felt relaxed and light again – as in not a lot of weight, but also as in all lit up on the inside.

I’ve spent so much time in my life struggling to get to the surface of my inner boggy swamp, to be able to do something in the world that’s meaningful to me, and to be able to do it in a way that works for me.  You know, not follow somebody else’s instructions.  Every single time my way has just landed me in the dwang.

Good word, that, dwang.

I’ve had plenty of invitation to just give up and get an ordinary job and stop dreaming that I can have the inner, creative and material freedom I’ve got such a strong feel for but haven’t been able to make into anything real so far.  In childhood that invitation  came from outside of myself (hardly an invitation, more like a prohibition – don’t you dare think you’re important), but in adulthood it’s mostly come from within.

Strange that a person can long for something and believe in some part of them that they can have it if they just keep persisting – yet also have a part that believes they’re being unrealistic and irresponsible etc. and that they should give up because they’re never going to get what they want. 

Well, this person anyway.  Worse, I had no evidence in my life that my dreams could come true!  Quite the opposite.   So now my logic tells me there’s nothing remotely real about my dreams, and moreover I’m too old for them to come true now, I haven’t got a chance in hell of being a star of any sort, all I can hope for is to enjoy my writing and music as a hobby. 

GAG.

Well, my logic told me I couldn’t get to the top of a Google search without a huge amount of work.  And it was wrong.  Now I have some evidence that my dreams can come true.  REAL HARD EVIDENCE.  Yes!!!!!  

Yes I can!

Yes I already have! 

The power of longing.  It defies logic and everything that stands in its way. 

My blog is just the start. Watch this space. Good morning world.

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