No more loss


Countdown to a hundred posts.

I remember saying that I don’t want to be stripped of everything material, I don’t want to go to the scariest place of absolute poverty before I see the truth of what I need.

I see people around me not facing their truth at all and having material support in their journey.  What am I trying to say here?  I know that losing everything in the way that I did led me to face what I was running away from – my innermost needs; old, repressed emotions; my disentitlement; all the myths about myself I thought were truths.

I obviously had to lose it all to find it all, and I don’t regret any of it.  Not my childhood, not my journey, not the crisis that triggered facing my truth.

But my point is, I get the message.  I’m present enough in my life, I’m attending to my entitlement, processing my emotions, facing my truth, learning how to live in the world, wanting to do something real with my life and have fun.

So it’s enough loss, that’s what I meant.  I don’t need to lose any more.  I got the message, I’m grateful for it, I cherish it, blah blah blah.

This morning I looked out my window and saw my material reality afresh: my surroundings are gorgeous, my apartment is small, but it’s beautiful (apart from the bathroom which is a real dog).  It’s already happening.  I’m not losing any more.  Things are being added unto. I’m not going further down, I’m coming up.

About time, that’s what I say.

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