She looks so vulnerable

I love Oprah.  I often get very frustrated with the “experts” her producers find for her, but I respect the journey she’s taken and is taking.  And what she’s achieved for herself, and how she’s brought so much that’s important to the light.

I love her humanity.

We’re about the same age, and it’s very easy for me to compare myself to her – look at the enormity of what she’s accomplished, all the people she knows, all the wealth she’s accumulated, all the experiences she’s had.

I feel very small and pathetic in comparison.

I was walking on the beach, thinking about her biggest challenge, and I realized that for all her wealth and connections she hasn’t been able to draw into her world somebody who could adequately answer her questions about how life works, and who could help her with her food addiction.

I don’t have enough material wealth to feed myself and pay rent from month to month, I lost three businesses in a row, and I know virtually nobody, I don’t even have a circle of friends.  Yet I’ve been able to draw into my life a person with an understanding of life and of how people function, what stops them functioning optimally – what stopped me functioning optimally.  He’s been able to show me the tools I have and how to use them to heal my self-esteem for real.  So that I can realize my potential.

I have been addicted to cocaine, alcohol and nicotine, food, neurotic relationships.  I lived with massive depression.   All my addictions and my depression have fallen away, I haven’t had to discipline myself, I haven’t had to do anything punitive to my body or my mind, I haven’t gone on diets, or subjected myself to hypnosis or done meditation.  I’ve just learned to recognize where the controls lie within, how they originated, and how I can build new ones.  It’s about the experience of unconditional love – not just the intellectualization of it.  It has involved all of my senses, my memory, my emotions, my intellect.

It feels like a big miracle to me – the kind of miracle that creates galaxies.  That I could have found my way to this therapist. And to the ideas that he has which made so much sense out of life for me.

That was quite a realization.  And whilst I look forward to the time in my life when what I do naturally results in a good income, I wouldn’t trade places with Oprah even today.

My heart goes out to her.  She looks so vulnerable.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s